Think First Speak Second: The Art Of Generous Listening
When you talk, you are only repeating what you know, but when you listen, you learn something new.
Have you ever caught yourself in a meeting, getting ready to present your point of view, not really listening and never seriously considering the speaker’s ideas? If you do listen, do you jump immediately to a conclusion…. the little voice in your head shouting ‘agree,’ ‘disagree,’ or ‘no way!’
Have you been in a conversation with a less experienced colleague, showing off your vast experience and knowledge, showering the new member to the team with good advice? Have you ever been in an interview and spoke more than the candidate?
If the answer is yes, then this article is made for you.
We must understand that most people listen to speak, rather than listen to understand. We’re educated to think like this. Constantly judging the behaviours and words of people around us against our values and beliefs formed by our upbringing and our educational system. However, to be an effective and great leader, this is the most important thing that you must unlearn.
Why is listening so important?
As you may have experienced, many leaders like the sound of their own voices! They believe that a significant portion of what justifies their position and status is the eloquence and power of their voices.
The truth is that great strategy emerges from deep thinking, informed by aggregating lots of data and perspectives, which of course requires… generous listening. This, and only this will result in good judgement and quality decisions.
Leveraging the quality of connected thinking
In the age of the knowledge worker and AI, harnessing ideas and creativity from across the organisation is essential. Two brains are smarter than one, three brains are smarter than two and so on. Whilst the internet has connected computers across the world, we’re yet to achieve the same with people. We are convinced that the greatest organisations of the future will unleash the art of free-flowing conversations without organisational boundaries such as reporting lines and hierarchies. We call these Adult-Level Conversations, and they bring together people from all generations, hierarchies and experience levels.
‘One of the sincerest forms of respect is listening to what another has to say’
(Bryant H. McGill)
Diversity of thought
Over the years we have been involved in several entrepreneurial start-ups as active investors. We could have easily lectured the young founders given our academic background and ‘know-how.’ Yet, we consciously chose years ago never to do this. Why would we restrict their thinking or limit the possibilities to only those we know? Generally, the result has resulted in our education as these founders find innovative new solutions.
‘Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don’t believe is right.’
(Jane Goodall)
The 4 pillars of generous listening
It may sound easy but its deceptively difficult. No one is born with the talent of generous listening. However, it’s a skill every great leader should try to master. Practice the four pillars of generous listening and see your business take off.
- Create a safe space – trust is the foundation of all great teams. One of the greatest enablers of this is psychological safety. In essence, it’s about actively inviting others to speak and share their views. To dive deeper, we recommend reading the works of Amy Edmondson and Timothy Clark.
- Share the mic – when others are speaking, it is not the time for you rehearse what you will say next. It’s time to listen and learn. It’s your role to make sure that you and no one else get more than their share of talking time. This means if there are two people you get 50%, 4 people 25% and so on.
- Never make assumptions – active listening is a key part of generous listening – it means to ask questions, clarify, and wait for others to fully conclude. It also makes the conversation a positive experience for the other party. Actively listening is perhaps the greatest gift you can give.
- Build on ideas, don’t kill them – We always try to remind ourselves that if we don’t agree with something, there is a high chance that we simply don’t understand it. When you take this perspective, the results can be startingly. Try it!
Let us finish this article with a quote, that sums it all up:
‘When you talk, you are only repeating what you know, but when you listen, you learn something new.’
(The 14th Dalai Lama)
Dr Helmut Schuster and Dr David Oxley are career futurists and co-authors of A Groundhog Career: A tale of career traps and how to escape them out on 18 March 2025
