Micro-interactions are the moments of connection we have with other humans that occur in their multitudes every single day. Their importance lies in the fact that they project a continuous message to the world about who we are: what sort of person and what sort of leader. As you grasp not only the importance of your micro-interactions but also quite how many you have every day, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. After all, don’t you already have enough to do? How are you meant to think about this as well as everything else?

The answer, you will be relieved to hear, is not to try and do more. The mantra of ‘work harder, work smarter’ rarely makes a great deal of difference. It’s also frankly insulting to you. You didn’t get to where you are today by not working hard, by not getting stuff done, by not being able to organise yourself.

Instead, this requires a shift in focus and mindset: to focus on people over tasks. To choose intentional, human-centred leader-ship as your day job.

It’s deceptively simple, which isn’t to say it’s easy. It requires trust, through building stronger relationships with your people. It requires letting go of some control, allowing some things not to be done, or at least not done by you or done in exactly the way you would like.

Your relationships with those you work with therefore becomes the most important element of your job. And surprise, surprise, that means your micro-interactions are crucial. Your micro-interactions are how you do your job, and how you do it well.

Let’s explore what it means to focus on your people, and the difference it makes. Specifically looking at how a shift in mindset can transform your micro-interactions.

A shift in mindset

Embracing a people-first approach will require a shift in mindset from you.

One of my clients, newly promoted into a very senior role, once came to a coaching session and bemoaned: ‘All I ever do is talk to people. I never get any actual work done.’ My response to her (and a question I suggest you ask yourself):

‘What exactly do you think your job is?’

For most people reading this article, if you have management responsibility for others (whether a team or an entire organisation), the majority of what you deliver is delivered through your people. You succeed or fail based on the quality and quantity of what they produce.

What does that mean for you? It means your job is to get the very best out of them.

Whether a team of three or a company of 50,000, that is not just a set of resources, but a group of human beings. Humans with feelings, needs, wants and fears. Humans with different motivations, priorities and hopes for the future. Humans with different skills, styles of communicating and of working.

When we harness the glorious diversity and creativity of our people, when we connect with them and give them purpose, when we create their work as something they enjoy and can thrive at, that’s when you will get the best out of your people. And consequently, deliver the best results for your organisation and for you.

It’s a little like the old saying: ‘When you look after the pennies, the pounds look after themselves’.*

When your people are thriving, committed, supported, they are your route to getting the tasks done.

The shift to a people first mindset can be challenging if you’re the kind of person who finds comfort – and indeed enjoyment – in tasks. Yet, to truly embrace your role as a leader, you’re going to have to let go of that, at least to some degree. Having been through the shift myself, it’s challenging and rewarding in equal measure. Seeing your people thrive around you makes it absolutely worth it.

I imagine you may be wondering what this mindset shift looks like in practice? It means a much greater proportion of your time will be spent talking to and working with others, rather than doing tasks yourself. Your micro-interactions shift away from tasks and towards relationships.

For example:

• Asking questions that build deeper relationships with your team, not just questions about the tasks they are working on. What motivates them? What interests them? What scares them? What excites them?
• Learning how your team members prefer to work and to communicate, rather than imposing your preferences. In other words, talking about how they work as well as what they are working on.
• Prioritising activities that enable your team to thrive, even if they don’t directly contribute to moving a task or project forwards.
• Resisting the urge to solve problems yourself. Instead, ask: ‘How can I use this as an opportunity to build the skills and capability of my team?’
• Slowing down and standing back to allow your team space to learn for themselves, not jumping in with the answer for the sake of efficiency.
• Managing your emotional reactions to mistakes and apologising afterwards if you aren’t successful.
• Prioritising giving high-quality, timely feedback, and relating to it as a key part of your job.
• Setting and clearly communicating your expectations, including taking time to think how, when and in what form you communicate them.
• Supporting your team as they work to meet those expectations; having conversations that coach them and challenge them to think, and only where necessary, offering advice or training.
• Holding your team accountable to those expectations: dealing with unacceptable behaviours, addressing consistent underperformance kindly but firmly, and in a timely manner.
• Offering words of encouragement based on skills and behaviours, not only results.

Thus, your micro-interactions therefore become the most important thing about every day. They are the way you learn about your people, the way you understand how to get the best out of them, and the way you hold your people to account. They are how you elicit commitment and build trust. They are how you create an environment where your people thrive. They are how you create, share and deliver on a vision. Ultimately, they are how you ensure the tasks get done – through your people.

Because we all know the tasks still need to be done; you are still going to be measured on very tangible outcomes. What shifts is your approach to how you achieve those outcomes. What shifts is your choice of priorities:

• People first, not task first.
• Relationship over micro-management.
• Discussion and coaching before instruction.
• Trust over control.
• Listening before speaking.
• Asking and understanding not assuming.

Keep these priorities in mind and you’ll soon see how transforming your micro-interactions is not about doing more or working harder. Instead, the simple shift required is to adopt a people-first rather than task-first mindset.

About the author:

Sarah Langslow is an executive coach and leadership development specialist. She integrates leadership lessons from a sporting career as a rower, including competing twice in the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race, a 15-year corporate career across management consulting and finance, and experience as an entrepreneur with her own coaching and leadership development business.

Sarah has an MA and an MBA from the University of Cambridge and is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach. Sarah’s new best-selling book “Do Sweat The Small Stuff” illuminates the often unrecognised power of micro-interactions to supercharge leadership effectiveness and people development.

References:

*An old saying, apparently coined by William Lowndes (1652–1724), a former Secretary to the Treasury of Great Britain.