We all have junctures in our lives that shape our future selves and who we become. It maybe your first job, the day you get married, have children or it may be the day you sit down and ask yourself ‘am I doing the job I am meant to do?’

Think about why you get out of bed in the morning. What makes you excited about the day ahead? Why do you care? What difference do you make? Who cares about you?

Think about these things and you begin to raise your conscious awareness of your own motivational drivers, which in turn will help unlock your ‘Why?’ and ultimately, your definition of success.

Now, the starting point is to define what success means to you. Success is such an emotive word, which we each define differently. Success for one person could be at opposite ends of the scale for the next.

However, if you examine the words and actions of some of the most successful people today and throughout history, those individuals who have truly made a dent on the world and created a lasting legacy, you’ll find they all have something in common:

● A clear set of motivational drivers

● A reason for being

● A clear answer to the question ‘Why?’

● A purposeful intent that drives what they do and how they do it.

Why is this so important? It’s because every person experiences important moments in their lives, but there is one that stands out above all others: it’s the moment you change from someone with a job to someone with real purpose.

Having a compelling ‘Why?’, a clear definition of success and reason for being, infuses your life with purpose and meaning. The ‘Why?’ is your North Star, your anchor point, and, if it is compelling and strong enough, you’ll figure out the what and the how.

The critical part of the ‘what does success mean to you?’ question, is the word ‘you’. You must measure success by your own standards, not anyone else’s. This is so important.

There will be a number of people who will try to weigh in and in influence your definition according to their own preferences, biases and beliefs – if you allow them to.

These people – perhaps parents, siblings, friends, work colleagues or peer groups – will often happily offer their advice, if you let them. It can sometimes feel like a tug of war as you’re pulled from pillar to post, everyone else having a view and opinion on what you should do and who you should be.

But remember, they are not living your life – you are!

It’s good to take advice and seek counsel from those whose opinions you value. But when it comes down to it, you and only you can make the decisions and choices about how you live your life and how you define what success means.

Split the question and ask yourself, what does success mean to you personally and what does it mean to you professionally. Asking these two fundamental questions will help you identify whether your two definitions are aligned or whether they are in tension? Are you managing so many tensions and trade-offs that one just has to give?

When you are really clear about what success means to you, both personally and professionally, you can design your life, and the job you want, fully aware of the tensions and trade-offs you’re making.

Different stages of your life are like different chapters in which your definition of success may change, as will the importance you place on the different elements.

You might measure success by the job you get, the car you drive and the money you make. As life progresses, you might get married and your view of success will begin to be in influenced by your relationship.

Then, children may come along and a whole new ball game starts. Success is about how happy they are and how well you’re able to nurture, protect and educate them, and your whole measure of success shifts again.

Later in life, as your parents start to get older, you add the new role of trying to be a great provider or carer to them, too.

That’s life. It swings like a pendulum from side to side, and that’s how your definition of success shifts. Being mindful of this will ensure that you’re never chasing things you don’t actually want.

So many successful people achieve high levels of professional success, only to find when they get there, that their personal relationships have fallen apart. They’ve missed birthdays, anniversaries, weekends and holidays; they’re estranged from their children and their partner.

Often, it’s because they’ve stuck to a single version of success, even as life evolved around them. Because they didn’t evolve their definition of success as their life evolved, they have ended up in a place that is now completely wrong for them.

Being conscious of your changing scenario means that you can make and accept the trade-offs. This isn’t an exercise you do once in your life and stick to it, but quite the opposite: it’s an organic, fluid, agile process that needs revisiting frequently.

This will ensure your definitions are still relevant, the tensions are manageable and the trade-offs you’re making are working for you, not against you.

Royston Guest is a leading authority on growing businesses and unlocking people potential. Entrepreneur, author of #1 best-seller Built to Grow and new book RISE: Start living the life you were meant to lead, out now, published by John Murray.