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Developing The Skills Of An Ace Negotiator

Negotiation is part of business and part of life.

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Share this article

Negotiation is part of business and part of life.

People

Developing The Skills Of An Ace Negotiator

Negotiation is part of business and part of life.

Share this article

Negotiating is a complex and stressful process. Whether you are in negotiation about the terms of a project, or part of a team negotiating a major commercial contract the scales can tip towards success or failure seemingly at any time.

So how can you build your skills and your confidence to keep the scales moving towards success in future negotiations?

Your Preparation Should be Wideranging

Good preparation helps you to control the negotiation environment. It includes researching the people you will be negotiating with, understanding their business background, past negotiation behaviour, and the wider market situation.

Make Use of Simulations

Negotiation simulations are a valuable tool in preparation, offering many benefits that boost skills and mental readiness, for example:

  • Trying different strategies: to see what works and what doesn’t, including various ways to persuade, different concessions, or timing of offers.
  • Building Confidence: Successfully managing a simulated negotiation can greatly boost a negotiator's confidence. This confidence is essential when dealing with actual, high-stakes negotiations as it affects how present you are and present yourself, how persuasive you can be, and your ability to guide negotiations towards desired outcomes.
  • Better Decision-making: Simulations challenge participants to make quick and effective decisions, reflecting the time-sensitive nature of many high-stakes negotiations. Regular practice under such conditions can sharpen a negotiator's ability to quickly process information and make informed decisions under pressure.
  • Team Dynamics and Roles: When negotiations involve teams, simulations provide a unique opportunity to define roles, test how the team works together, and improve coordination among members. Understanding how to use each member’s strengths in a simulated environment can improve the team’s effectiveness in real negotiations.
  • Feedback and Learning: Feedback is a crucial part of negotiation simulations. Participants get constructive feedback on their negotiation strategies, body language, and overall performance from observers, trainers, or through video reviews. This feedback is crucial for building confidence and skill and provides insights that are hard to gain in real negotiations.
  • Cultural and Ethical Considerations: Simulations can include elements of cultural and ethical diversity to prepare negotiators for dealing with people from different backgrounds and norms. This preparation is crucial in global negotiations to avoid cultural misunderstandings and build respectful, productive relationships.

Daniel Shapiro, a negotiation expert from Harvard, wisely said, "Negotiation is about preparation. The more you know, the more options you have during the discussion."

Key points to consider

In order to get the most from both the simulation and the actual negotiation, the following points are important to consider:

Defining clear, achievable goals for each phase of a negotiation sets a framework for success, using SMART criteria—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely—helps ensure these objectives guide your tactics.  In addition, understanding your position, strength and having a fallback position, gives you leverage

The words you choose, your tone of voice, and your body language are key in negotiations. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and negotiation expert, notes, "It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. The right tone can open doors that words alone cannot."

Active listening involves fully focusing, understanding, responding to, and remembering what the other person says. It helps information gathering, builds trust and rapport. If you hear the other party uses formal language, mirroring this style can make them feel more comfortable.

Asking strategic questions can reveal the other party's priorities and limitations, shifting the discussion from demands to mutual benefits. For example, asking "What are your top three priorities in this negotiation?" helps you understand what the other party cares about most. Asking "What factors are preventing you from agreeing to this proposal?" can show you what their limitations are.

Stressful situations require high focus and the ability to think clearly under pressure, and avoiding emotions clouding your judgement. Preparation, practice, and breathing techniques can reduce the impact of stress. This allows negotiators to regain their composure and steer the discussion back towards productive outcomes, creating an environment where everyone feels heard, respected, and engaged.

Learning From Setbacks

A setback is a chance to learn. Analysing what went wrong and planning for future interactions ensures continuous improvement. Knowing when to compromise—and what to offer—can speed up agreements without giving up key interests. Effective negotiators balance firmness with flexibility.

Ensuring that everyone understands and agrees to the terms is crucial for a lasting agreement. A clear, concise, and thorough explanation of the terms reduces the chance of future disputes.

Post-negotiation analysis is invaluable for continuous improvement. It identifies what tactics worked and what areas need improvement and informs future strategies.

Negotiation is part of business and part of life so it is well worth spending time honing your skill and building your confidence.  Please use these tips to help take your competence to the next level and become an ace negotiator.

About the author

Angela Afieghe is a member of Toastmasters International, a not-for-profit organisation that has provided communication and leadership skills since 1924 through a worldwide network of clubs. There are more than 400 clubs and 10,000 members in the UK and Ireland. Members follow a structured educational programme to gain skills and confidence in public and impromptu speaking, chairing meetings and time management.

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Developing The Skills Of An Ace Negotiator

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